What I Learned Listening to You: Reflections After Our First Rethink Retirement Webinar
Something important happened in our webinar this week.
Not because of what I said—but because of what you shared. We had 40 folks registered for our webinar. It was truly special to listen to them talk about what matters to them. Half were retired; half were transitioning; and a few were happily still working—much like my husband and I are.
This is the first webinar in a monthly series where I want to share the voices of many of the people in our new book, “Rethink Retirement: It’s not the end but the beginning what’s next.”
It is one thing to read their stories. It is quite another to meet them, listen to them, and share your own stories.
Retirement is just not one-size fits anyone. Permit me to share their voices.
As I went back through the chat, I was struck by the extraordinary range of perspectives, emotions, and experiments underway. There isn’t one “retirement story.” There are dozens—each one unfolding in its own way.
And yet, patterns emerged.
1. Retirement is not a moment. It’s a process.
Some of you are “dipping your toes in.”
Others are “a week here and there.”
Some are on their “third attempt.”
That alone should reframe how we think about this stage of life.
We’ve been taught to treat retirement as an event—a date on a calendar.
But what you showed me is that it’s iterative. Experimental. Sometimes messy.
Almost like learning how to live all over again.
2. Freedom is real—and so is the question: now what?
You spoke about what you’re looking forward to:
Travel. Tennis. Time with grandchildren. Creativity. Volunteering.
“Just laughing like I used to.”
There is joy here. Real joy.
But alongside it is something quieter:
“Not figured that out yet.”
“What is your definition of work?”
“Why can’t we think about retirement as something positive?”
Freedom without structure can feel exhilarating—and disorienting.
This is where many people get stuck. Not because they lack ideas, but because they haven’t yet built a rhythm for their days.
3. Identity is being rewritten—intentionally or not
One of the most powerful lines in the chat:
“Identity is not what you do but who you are at your core.”
Identity is certainly not what you did. You are more than your business card.
And yet, when I asked how much of your identity was tied to your work, many of you said:
75%… 100%… “all of it.”
So now comes the real work.
You are becoming:
A “community leader”
A “builder”
A “therapy dog handler”
A “coach,” a “mentor,” a “writer”
This isn’t retirement.
This is identity reconstruction. And it is all in your hands.
4. Structure doesn’t disappear—it must be redesigned
What fascinated me most were your morning rituals:
Walking. Meditation. Tea. Reading. Tai Chi.
“Not scheduling more than two events a day.”
These are not small habits.
They are the scaffolding of a new life.
When the external structure of work disappears, we either drift—or we design.
You are designing.
5. Purpose is shifting—from achievement to contribution
Over and over, I saw this:
Helping the next generation
Mentoring students
Volunteering
Coaching others
Serving on boards
The question is no longer:
“What did I accomplish?”
It becomes:
“Where do I still matter?”
And the answers are deeply human.
6. Community matters more than we expect
One comment stayed with me:
“Alone… but not lonely.”
Another:
“People go to doctors also when they’re lonely!”
Retirement reveals something we often miss during our working years:
Our workplaces gave us built-in community.
Now, community must be intentional.
And many of you are actively building it—through learning, volunteering, shared experiences, even “tech office hours” at a senior center.
7. Perhaps the most important insight: This is a rewiring, not a retiring
One of you said it beautifully:
“It’s all about rewiring, not retiring your mind.”
That may be the headline of everything we are discovering together.
Where This Leaves Us
As an anthropologist, I study how humans adapt when the world changes.
And what I saw in this webinar was a group of people doing exactly that—experimenting, questioning, rebuilding, and sharing generously with one another.
You are not stepping away.
You are stepping into something new.
But it requires intention.
A Question to Carry Forward
As you reflect on your own journey, consider this:
What are you actively rewiring right now—your identity, your days, your purpose, or your community?
Or perhaps all four.
Next Step
If this conversation resonated with you, we’re going deeper in the June 2 Masterclass.
This is where we move from reflection to design—giving you the tools to shape this next chapter with clarity and confidence.
Join us for our next free webinar on May 19th, Noon-1PM EDT. REGISTER HERE
Thank you to everyone who showed up, shared openly, and listened generously.
These conversations matter more than we realize.