My father’s first two wives died and I remember his comment when he prepared to marry an old friend as his third wife. He told me having a companion is important because she would be there to share their future dreams together. Your write up says this in a different way, but companionship is what I have enjoyed for 55 years. We were lucky to join a country club 20 years before we retired. With kids gone and us moving into a new neighborhood, the club was an opportunity to meet new friends who were also new to our community. Through the years being involved with the running of the club and developing a golf group of 40 guys, a subset of 450 families. We became a part of the community. Our wives now play together and we often eat, attend sporting events, or whatever together. Community has made our retirement golden. But this group is couples and I wonder how things will develop when one of us passes on. I know there will be support from friends but they are all couples. Makes me think.
Jim, your life is full of richness, with stories to share that always expand my own life’s stories. Thanks for your comments here. I will tell you, knowing you, that a bit of wisdom is not a bad thing to have for both you and Marilyn. Andy and I talk about what we are learning as we work on the book and its after-life. We truly know so little about expectations—and it doesn’t matter what you call this next stage. Thank you for being our dear friend, and sharing your thoughts we us and our Substack community.
The distinction between romance and companionship is an important one. Sometimes what a person misses is not a partner, but someone who notices the ordinary Tuesday.
I would add that connection does not have one universal shape. Some people need a broad community, some need one or two meaningful relationships, and some genuinely thrive with a great deal of solitude. The work is not simply building more community, but learning what kind of connection truly fits the life we are living now
Your wisdom is truly appreciated. It doesn’t matter what you call this next stage in our lives, we are ill-prepared for the unknown that awaits us. I love the “re-wire” metaphor, that is exactly what my husband did after her sold his business—he joined mine and rewired picking up new clients and doing things he had never done before. But we are always thinking now about what we are learning, and how to prepare “when life happens.” Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
My father’s first two wives died and I remember his comment when he prepared to marry an old friend as his third wife. He told me having a companion is important because she would be there to share their future dreams together. Your write up says this in a different way, but companionship is what I have enjoyed for 55 years. We were lucky to join a country club 20 years before we retired. With kids gone and us moving into a new neighborhood, the club was an opportunity to meet new friends who were also new to our community. Through the years being involved with the running of the club and developing a golf group of 40 guys, a subset of 450 families. We became a part of the community. Our wives now play together and we often eat, attend sporting events, or whatever together. Community has made our retirement golden. But this group is couples and I wonder how things will develop when one of us passes on. I know there will be support from friends but they are all couples. Makes me think.
Jim, your life is full of richness, with stories to share that always expand my own life’s stories. Thanks for your comments here. I will tell you, knowing you, that a bit of wisdom is not a bad thing to have for both you and Marilyn. Andy and I talk about what we are learning as we work on the book and its after-life. We truly know so little about expectations—and it doesn’t matter what you call this next stage. Thank you for being our dear friend, and sharing your thoughts we us and our Substack community.
The distinction between romance and companionship is an important one. Sometimes what a person misses is not a partner, but someone who notices the ordinary Tuesday.
I would add that connection does not have one universal shape. Some people need a broad community, some need one or two meaningful relationships, and some genuinely thrive with a great deal of solitude. The work is not simply building more community, but learning what kind of connection truly fits the life we are living now
Your wisdom is truly appreciated. It doesn’t matter what you call this next stage in our lives, we are ill-prepared for the unknown that awaits us. I love the “re-wire” metaphor, that is exactly what my husband did after her sold his business—he joined mine and rewired picking up new clients and doing things he had never done before. But we are always thinking now about what we are learning, and how to prepare “when life happens.” Thanks for sharing your thoughts.